A call to arms (mini-sode)

‘Right lads, 4 games and 12 points left to save your season. Don’t any of you ever think you’re too good to go down, you’ve got yourselves into this mess, now it’s time to get yourselves out of if, yes what is it Carlos?’

‘Boss, I’ve just arrived here, just like the big lad at the back, we never got the team into this mess’

‘Right yes okay not you or Jerome, but you 2 are here to give the rest of us a chance of staying in the division aren’t you’

‘Yeah boss yeah for sure’

‘Right where was I? Oh yeah, look I didn’t come here all the way from Moscow to get relegated, I didn’t come all this way to watch you piss this season up the wall. I didn’t want to talk about next season, but next season I wanna be challenging for promotion out of this league, not back into it. Do you hear what I’m saying lads?

‘Yes boss, loud and clear’

‘God dammit Carlos! I get you’re the only English speaking player but just pipe down for a 1 minute please. Mohd, please relay my message to the non English speaking members of the team.

Our player liaison officer / translator spends a minute or so relaying my attempts at a battle cry, a motivational speech so to speak. He finishes speaking, and there’s a quiet hush all around the room. He turns and shrugs his shoulders.

‘For Gods sake, right tell them Carlos here, our new first choice keeper rejected an offer from Atletico Madrid to join us here, actually no don’t say Atletico, say erm, Perth Glory, yeah that’s more believable.’

‘But boss I didn’t turn….’

‘Carlos shut up for a minute will you please’

Mohd turns back to the team, and relays my message I think. Then as if like magic they all sat up, looking at our new keeper with wide eyes, the kind of eyes a fat kid gives a chocolate cake. They’re mesmerised by him. Somehow I think it’s worked, I think they’re on board, well with Carlos, maybe not me.

I catch Mohd on his own after the meeting.

‘Did you tell them what I told you to, about Perth Glory?’

‘Yes, of course boss’. Something in his tone tells me he’s lying 


Next episode – The run in

Previous episode – Steve Kean, we meet for the first time